The Quality of Your Community

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this time of year!  I love the colors—  the vibrant reds, greens, yellows, and oranges of fall leaves (yes, there are a few deciduous trees in sunny San Diego).  I love the chilly mornings (but not too chilly, it’s San Diego, after all).  I also love the way the sun sits a little lower in the sky and casts deeper shadows. But what I love the most, are the parties and gatherings that come with fall—  getting together for Halloween parties, football potlucks, Thanksgiving dinners.  I love being in community with others-- always have, for as long as I can remember. 

You see, I don’t think humans were ever hardwired to live in isolation.  Rat studies have proven that time and time again.  When I googled “rat studies and isolation”  I was particularly intrigued by this sub-title:

“Social isolation can lead to poor mental and physical health. A new study {2021} determines that social isolation increases food and nicotine-seeking during abstinence, but that social housing can reverse these effects.”

 (Nature.com 2021). 

The authors of this study were particularly interested in the social isolating effects of Covid.  They used adult rats to demonstrate what happens when an individual is left alone for prolonged periods of time without stimulus or interaction with others-- it drove them to overeat and use nicotine.  Sounds about right.  

See?!  We are meant to be in communion with others. Now I might suggest that MY food intake actually increases in “social housing” but I digress…(my mind is convinced that “party” calories don’t count.)  But really, the point this study and I are trying to drive home is that when we are in communion with others, we are much more mentally and emotionally healthy.  

BUT/AND the quality of your community matters!

Here’s the thing…. if you surround yourself with competitive people, people that put you down, belittle others, compare, criticize, gossip—  you are not helping your psyche. You are staying in a low energy, vibrational state.  Like attracts like.  So, if you want happy, healthy, good, positive energy—  surround yourself with like—  people that lift you up, reflect back to you your goodness, make you feel happy and whole.  This behavior is contagious.  I know firsthand, as I have a few toxic relatives—  you may, too.  Over many years I’ve learned to not let their energy affect mine.  (This comes in handy particularly around the holidays.)  I just do not let their energy in.  Period.  I gravitate to the happy people in my family and stay with those that lift me up.  My grumpy relative gets to be grumpy but I’m not participating...nope.  You don’t have to either.

Here’s what the yoga sutras have to say about how to maintain your peace:

In relationships, the mind becomes purified by cultivating feelings of friendliness towards those who are happy, compassion for those who are suffering, goodwill towards those who are virtuous, and indifference or neutrality towards those we perceive as wicked or evil.

(maitri karuna mudita upekshanam sukha duhka punya apunya vishayanam bhavanatah chitta prasadanam) ~ From Yoga Sutra 1.33 credited to the Sage Pantanjali

So, my relatives are not necessarily wicked or evil BUT they do affect the energy of whatever space they are occupying, if you know what I mean.  So I practice compassion mixed with a dash of indifference.  

How do you handle difficult people/relatives, especially around the holidays?

Would you like to hang out with people that will lift you up? Make you laugh and support you as you learn something new?  Come hang out with us! As we gather to cook together every Monday evening in our kitchens.  

Via Zoom, we chop, saute, bake and boil so that you can have dinner on the table by 6:30pm PST.  We keep it fun and light as you learn to make delicious, healthy recipes to nourish you and your loved ones for the holidays. 

Here’s what’s in store for next week:
 

 We will be cooking up some delicious “breakfast for dinner” foods. 

Fall Frittata - With several variations, great for Sunday brunch, entertaining, pot lucks.
 

Flourless Banana Pancakes - Power packed with gluten-free goodness.
 

Green Smoothies and Juices - We will learn how to combine fruits and vegetables into a low-sugar, antioxidant rich, cleansing and tonifying elixir

I hope you will join us. You can join one class, or the rest of the series at a discount.

Let your mantra this week be “seek quality community”