Connect to Your Roots of Passion and Purpose

Where I first discovered the “P’s”

Four and half years ago, my father passed away from complications that arose from his exposure to Agent Orange in Vietnam some 40 years earlier. He died way before he should have. He was only 72. Impassioned by his work, he swore he would never retire. He was living his lifelong dream as the president of a university when his life was cut short. From his humble beginnings as the son of poor farmers and factory workers in rural Missouri, my grandmother and his teachers in his one room schoolhouse, instilled in my father a complete devotion and love of learning. He went on to have a decorated military career in the Coast Guard and retired after 22 years of service. Studying while working the entire 22 years of his military career, he was able to finally graduate with his master’s degree in Business. From here, and concurrent with his postgraduate research in education, my dad went into academia where he worked for JFK University, UC Berkeley, University of Colorado - Fort Collins, Boston University and ultimately, Excelsior University. In his 60’s, he finally received his PhD in education and the position of presidency of a university that specializes in distance learning and serving to educate military personnel.  

My relationship with my father was complicated. As the middle daughter, my elementary and  teen years were spent in a contentious relationship with my father - he wanted me to be strong, tough and competitive. I was sensitive, emotional and not at all competitive. He wanted me to study business. I wanted to study recreation. As I grew older and less willful, more grounded and at peace with who I was, we began to connect on a deeper level - discussing many of life’s mysteries, philosophizing about religion, education, bringing meaning into one’s life, and following one’s dreams. I cherish those moments when we would spend hours just talking and listening - respectfully sharing our differing world views.

I was also a huge fan of his mother, my grandmother, Laura, who called me her “sunshine” from as early as I can remember. She was eccentric, complicated, talented and driven. She lived alone, twice widowed, on a farm in the middle of nowhere in rural Missouri. She played the organ and piano for 3 different churches (she couldn’t decide what religion she wanted to be), she spoke 5 languages, not fluently, but enough to say a line or two. She was fanatical about recycling before it was a thing. She worked in a boot factory, ran a farm singlehandedly and managed to find time to run a quilting shop. She was magical.

This is the woman that taught me to milk a cow, to knit, to sew, to embroider and to bargain at estate sales. She got me to ride a mule, shuck corn, churn butter and slop the pigs. She made my time with her so engaging - forever teaching me about whatever she could. She quilted, rode a horse and buggy, swapped eggs and milk with the Amish for breads and cakes. She drove an El Camino and had a beagle that let her pet chicken ride on his back. (I later went on to learn that my grandmother was probably bi-polar - it didn’t matter to my child’s mind - she was my everything!) She, too, died early at the age of 67 from stomach cancer.

I’m carrying on what I’ve learned...

I inherited many traits from my dad and his mother - my long torso, my curly hair, my appetite for travel and new experiences, my love of writing. But probably the most meaningful trait, was my lifelong love of learning. Like both of them, I love reading, listening, sharing and experiencing anything that helps expand my mind, my worldview, my insights into myself and others. My dad had an insatiable appetite for history. My grandmother for languages, music and religion. Me, world religions, spirituality, self-development and just about anything that elevates the soul.  

My passions have evolved into the subject matter for our monthly book club - I want to share what I know, and what I learn from you all and various authors.

Our latest read, “Anatomy of the Spirit” by Carolyn Myss, was revelatory for me. I have longed to make sense of the many different approaches to enlightenment taught through various world religious and spiritual practices. As a scholar and theologian, Carolyn Myss intertwines her knowledge of several major religions and spiritual practices to reveal how our beliefs about ourselves and others can hold the power to heal and elevate our consciousness. Carolyn is funny, straightforward, intelligent and insightful.  

One of her reviews states that “Anatomy of the Spirit provides you with the tools for spiritual maturity and physical wholeness that will change your life.” I couldn’t agree more.

This is just one of many powerful books that we’ve read this year. Here is a sampling of our book list -  “The Choice” by Dr. Edith Eva Eger, “Stillness is the Key” by Ryan Holiday, “Ask and it is Given” by Esther and Jerry Hicks, “When Things Fall Apart” by Pema Chodron.

Next month we will be diving into a topic near and dear to my heart - IKIGAI (pronounced - “Icky Guy” - HA!). This is the Japanese term for living a life of purpose - something I thought my father so clearly did academically and professionally. But what I noticed about both my father and my grandmother, was that several of the key elements to living a life well lived were missing. 

This is why I chose to make this our first book in the FIRST EVER month of my Best You Wellness Group! (See how you can still join, below).

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to live a very long time. After my father’s death, I had become obsessed with learning what it means to live life well. Because I witnessed many aspects of my father’s and grandmother’s lives that weren’t well lived - they both ate poorly, drank too much, rarely exercised, and had very few good friends - I wanted to see if they had put a little more attention and focus on their nutrition, their physical activity and their social lives- would they have lived longer?  

For two years, I spent time researching and lecturing on the topic of longevity. I dove into the “Blue Zones” to study what helped these cultures live longer than the rest of the world. And what I found is that the Okinawans in Japan live with Ikigai - living a life of purpose.  

1 More Day to Join our Total Wellness Program

You see, discovering why you are here and what you can do to bring meaning to your life and the lives of others helps you to stay stimulated, engaged, happier and more connected - all qualities that will help your nervous system stay calm and content which can add years to your life. Feeling like you matter and that your work matters - MATTERS!  (What you eat, how you move, and who you hang out with also matter!)

I hope you will join us this month on Thursday, June 24th at 6:30pm PST, and each month afterward to discuss this and other important topics as part of my brand new Total Wellness Program… a program that brings together fitness, yoga, continuous learning, and connection. Let’s start by uncovering our IKIGAI and sharing our stories of what matters most.